Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
