Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
