don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
so much tequila, so little girl.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
