she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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