Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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