Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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