And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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