Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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