Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
