hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
