Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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