id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
