Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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