You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
