I think I won the penis lottery.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
do herpes really smell.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
