well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
