the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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