covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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