tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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