I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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