we're blogging at a bar
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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