In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's never too late to be topless.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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