Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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