i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
