If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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