I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
