You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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