Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
