Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
