I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
