beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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