you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
