I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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