Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
