Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
