i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
