The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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