I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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