she was so not down for the gang bang
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
