His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
