We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
