so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
