sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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