you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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