first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
