So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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