so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
