I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
