There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
