id be glad to
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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