whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
