Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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