i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
