I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
